Guns N' Roses : Chinese Democracy

The Setanta Clause Is Coming to Town.

Last year I purchased one month's worth of subscription from Setanta Sports in order to watch a one-off sporting event, costing £20. I should have known better, really; the last time I did this was twelve years ago for the first ever PPV (Pay Per View) boxing match, where our Frank Bruno bravely defended himself against Mike Tyson for about twenty seconds or so, but I am an absolute sucker.

All went well. I watched the event (which is usually shown free on Bravo when the event is staged out of the UK) and went about my business. The next month, Setanta took another £20 from my account without asking me. When I called to see what had gone wrong with our arrangement, I was told that I was on a 'rolling contract' (not true: it was advertised as a feature that there was no contract or cost and at no time was I told that further charges would be taken) and because I could not be bothered to argue, I cancelled the 'contract' and sucked it up.

The next month, Setanta charged me another £20. This time rather more incensed, I called them again and firmly asked that the charges be stopped and the two previous month's worth of unwatched horse racing and crappy Hurling be refunded. The soft-spoken Irish gentleman assured me that the contract would now be cancelled if I stood on the nearest common at midnight and spat in a southerly direction, before sending the cancellation in writing by post. The refunds would be sent by cheque, also by post, if they weren't too pissed or lazy to send the fucking thing, which of course they were.

So why do all my imaginary readers need to know about what is really a private disagreement with a shoddy rip-off merchant? Well, at the time, Setanta were so small-time that they resembled those constant racing channels that play in bookies, but things have taken a turn for the sinister, as they now have the sole rights to broadcast England's away matches in the World Cup qualifiers. Now, let's leave the public interest issues for another paragraph and ask why such a marginal, shonky outfit were allowed to get these rights at all? On Sunday, England played their first qualifier against Andorra away and unless you paid the £12.99-a-month charges, you may never have been aware that it was taking place. What really irks is that Setanta accused the BBC and ITV of brinkmanship in the negotiations for highlight broadcast rights and refused to sell them at all, which is a sneaky way of telling the public that an undisclosed fee was insufficient to allow ANY terrestrial coverage and you may as well subscribe. I would strongly urge anyone considering this to rethink their options.

So, what role has the FA played in this farce? The usual: buck-passing. They claim that as guardians of the administration of our national game, they were powerless to stop the evil, corrupt foreign FAs from selling the rights for the internationals to outside parties. So what the fuck DO the FA do, if not prevent this sort of thing from occurring? They employ eight inbred neckless fools for every job at that place and they put themselves in a position where this kind of thing can happen?

I have tried to work out the cost of watching every England qualifying match at home on television and this is not an easy process at all. Setanta seem committed to shrouding the actual monthly cost with cheap deals and short-term scams. But here goes:

The England qualifiers take place from between 6th September 2008 and 14th October 2009, which would mean two payments of the TV license and 24 months worth of contracted Setanta Sports. In total, this costs over six hundred pounds at todays rates (which are by no means fixed). From what I read, some of the away fixtures are still being negotiated on and could be bought by Sky, which would more than double the cost of watching the national team and take the total cost to £1,230.

It's really up to you, but I've got to ask myself: is this 'product' (as we are all encouraged to think of our loyalty to national and club teams these days) really worth it?